Long Burn

1969: The ads are half the fun

Again, the February 1969 Reader's digest.

The Advertisements
Mazola Corn Oil: At 6:04 last night, Mrs. Walter Russell started polyunsaturating her entire family
Carnation Instant Breakfast: Jogger Food.
Poligrip: Don't be a denture dropout. Holds dentures so tight, there's just no room for trouble!
The Pontiac GTO, the official car of the US Ski Team
No matter how hard you try you just can't disguise the unique taste of RITZ.
Wonder Bread, Helps build strong bodies in 12 ways! Make the most of their 'Wonder Years.'
Ken-L Ration Burger for Dogs, Because people feel the way they do about dogs, we invented Ken-L Ration Burger. It looks like people food. But it's better for dogs than hamburger is for people.

From Laughter, the Best Medicine:

Four San Franciscans have already signed up for Pan American's first flight to the moon. Pan Am figures to be ready to go in the late 1980s, plus two years in the holding pattern at Kennedy Airport.

It was a blizzardy day, and half the student body of the Mankato, Minn., high school had stayed at home. Two girls who had braved the storm were talking about the weather. Said one, 'This morning my mother told me that if there was school today, I was going, snow or not.' The other replied, 'My mother told me that I was going whether there was school or not!'

From Limericks are Jovial Things
I sat next to the duchess at tea
It was just as I feared it would be:
Her rumblings abdominal
Were truly phenomenal,
And everyone thought it was me!
-By Woodrow Wilson

posted by Matt_J @ 9:33 AM